I went to be at 2:15am last night. 2:30am the night before. 8am the night before that. 5am the night before that. Please don’t ask what I do until that time. You will be painfully unimpressed. (OK, fine — A lot of TV, YouTube, and mindless Internet rabbit holes.)
Do I feel like an insane person? Yes.
When the COVID-19 crisis escalated to the lockdown phase in March, I was pretty intentional about making sure I maintained a sense of “normalcy,” despite the fact that we were all social distancing at staying at home. I tried to make sure I woke up around my normal time, that I went on walks a few times a week, that I stood outside and got fresh air everyday, and that I went to bed at a reasonable time.
And then… Well, we all know what happened — and what is still happening. Between the deplorable and catastrophic government response to COVID-19 here in the U.S. and the BLM/M4BL uprising, that sense of “normalcy” has completely been shattered. Nothing about this is normal. Nothing in me wants to normalize it. And especially after the uprising, I’ve just realized how “normal” was already what we called being complacent/complicit in deeply fucked up systems.
Plus, I think there’s something about it being summer (too damn hot!), still feeling the urgency to stay my ass inside (very damn important!), and the overwhelming sense of WTF-ness happening in the world around us (too damn much!).
Normal just isn’t really in the cards anymore. And won’t be for a very long time. So it’s been difficult for me to feel like having a “normal” routine is a necessity at this point. Even though I know I’m being silly, because it absolutely still should be.
Bitches gotta sleep.